Don't Blow It

One thing has struck me over the past few weeks - I tend to let the people I'm surrounded with either enhance my joy or kill it. Lately I've felt like my joy is slowly being strangled. The people I work with are unhappy. They use language that I can't stand listening to. They constantly focus on what's bad in their lives rather than be thankful for what's good.

Consequently, I feel like my candle is being extinguished. I feel like I'm starting to be negative like they are. I haven't allowed my sponge-self to soak up their language thankfully. I certainly would like to think that my filter can keep that out. I think using that kind of language makes you sound horribly unintelligent. Why would I be interested in that?

But I do know that I wake up every morning that I work thinking, "Oh, I HAVE to go to work today." I would much rather think, "Oh, I GET to go to work today." I'm not saying every job is perfect. However, if you're doing something you love or enjoy it's not much like work. It's like getting paid to do what you love. I wish I had that. But I don't this summer.

I try hard to make the most of every situation. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic. I'm trying to find joy in every day. After all, God woke me up, he gave me the ability to get out of bed and he gave me a job to do for the summer. I just don't want it to rob me of my joy. I don't want to be this grouchy, depressed person I see myself becoming. It's not me. It's not who God wants me to be. It's not who I was made to be.

But I also want to be careful that I don't build the wall around me so thick that I can't be a shining light to those around me. Many of the people I come face to face with each day need to see Jesus. What if I'm the only Jesus they'll see? If my wall is so thick they can't see Jesus through me, then what good am I doing?

So, I'm remembering the words of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." Please pray for me that I could shine the light of Jesus without my candle being blown out by the darkness around me.

Special Occasions

I had a very sweet woman come in to the store today. She was very friendly from the moment she walked in. When she came to the cash register, I could smell the beautiful fragrance of lotion or perfume.

I told her I didn't know what she was wearing but it smelled lovely. She said it was called Youth Dew by Estee Lauder. I knew it wasn't anything I would be able to purchase for myself. She went on to tell me it was her late mother's favorite and she had the rest of her mother's last bottle. She wears it on special occasions to feel like her mother is with her. She was heading to a wedding today so that was a special enough occasion for this special perfume. I wished her a blessed day and she went on her way... or so I thought.

Moments later, she walked in to the store once again. She handed me a small glass bottle and said this was the last of her mother's perfume. I thought she just wanted me to see the bottle or maybe spray a bit on myself. No. She wanted to give me an incredible gift. My dear customer, I don't even know your name. But I will think of you on my special occasions when I wear your mother's perfume.

Life in a Bubble

I never thought about it before. If I did, I guess I didn't give much attention to it. I've lived much of my life in a bubble. I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church camp. I ran around with friends who were also Christians. I went to a Bible college. I worked at church day cares. I directed a summer church camp. I went back to college at a Christian college. I've never tried cigarettes, I tried alcohol for the first time as an adult. I work at a school with mostly fellow Christians where it's common to hear the local Christian radio station playing and people share prayer requests.
Then I look at my recent summer job experiences. Last year I worked with some great people. I became friends with several. However, there and where I'm working this summer, I hear language like I've never heard before. Now, I've heard those words. I've even spoken some out of anger before. However, they're not a part of my vocabulary. To hear so many of them that an entire prime-time television show would be bleeped out because they're so frequent, is just shocking to my system. It's a rough environment for me. I'm trying to let my light shine. I just pray that the darkness I feel around me doesn't blow my light out. Please pray for me. I feel safe in my bubble. But I know God has once again placed me where He wants me "for such a time as this."

Thankfulness

Negativity. It's everywhere around us. On the news. In the paper. On Facebook and Twitter. People being negative. People being greedy. People being unkind to others. In light of all this negativity, I've decided to make a list of things I'm thankful for.

Let me preface this by saying I've decided to focus on making a big change in my life: I'm not going to be negative anymore. I'm going to be positive and optimistic. Does that mean my life is perfect? NO! Does that mean I have it all together? NO! It only means I've decided to be thankful for what I DO have rather that be upset about the things I DON'T have. Here goes...

1. A God who loves me more than I could ever ask or imagine.

2. A husband who works almost as many hours as 2 people yet is willing to spend time with me when he gets home from work.

3. My kids who have become better people than I could have ever imagined.

4. My grandsons who are the light of my life

5. Movies

6. Springtime

7. Flowers

8. My front porch

9. The Bible 

10. The freedom to read my Bible

11. An amazing group of teachers that I get to spend 180 days working alongside.

12. A job that is more like a mission than work

13. A summer job that's being flexible enough to give us some income yet give me the time I need to go to workshops for my licensing and have weekends with my grandsons.

14. Fire pits

15. Cool shade on a hot day

16. The ability to laugh with students

17. Hearing a student say, "Thank you for encouraging me" after I spent the day cheering on kids as they ran field day relays.

18. Visits with my neighbor

19. Quiet evenings at home with my husband

20. Grace

21. Cool lotion to put on sunburned skin

22. The ability to spend the day outside and enjoy every minute of it

23. Yard work

24. God's creation

25. Forgiveness

26. Mercy

27. God's unconditional love

28. My education

29. My friends - I'm blessed with many that I don't see regularly but we can pick right up where we left off like there was no time in between

30. The ability to make a list of things I'm thankful for

This is certainly a working document. There are many other things for which I'm thankful. How often do you take time to sit and think about all the things you have for which to be thankful? Or do you get like me and wish you had more or better this or that? I resolve to stop wishing I had more or better this or that. I resolve to be truly thankful for what God allows me to have at any given moment. If He chooses to give more or better, great! If not, I will trust Him for what's best.