Don't Blow It

One thing has struck me over the past few weeks - I tend to let the people I'm surrounded with either enhance my joy or kill it. Lately I've felt like my joy is slowly being strangled. The people I work with are unhappy. They use language that I can't stand listening to. They constantly focus on what's bad in their lives rather than be thankful for what's good.

Consequently, I feel like my candle is being extinguished. I feel like I'm starting to be negative like they are. I haven't allowed my sponge-self to soak up their language thankfully. I certainly would like to think that my filter can keep that out. I think using that kind of language makes you sound horribly unintelligent. Why would I be interested in that?

But I do know that I wake up every morning that I work thinking, "Oh, I HAVE to go to work today." I would much rather think, "Oh, I GET to go to work today." I'm not saying every job is perfect. However, if you're doing something you love or enjoy it's not much like work. It's like getting paid to do what you love. I wish I had that. But I don't this summer.

I try hard to make the most of every situation. I'm trying so hard to be optimistic. I'm trying to find joy in every day. After all, God woke me up, he gave me the ability to get out of bed and he gave me a job to do for the summer. I just don't want it to rob me of my joy. I don't want to be this grouchy, depressed person I see myself becoming. It's not me. It's not who God wants me to be. It's not who I was made to be.

But I also want to be careful that I don't build the wall around me so thick that I can't be a shining light to those around me. Many of the people I come face to face with each day need to see Jesus. What if I'm the only Jesus they'll see? If my wall is so thick they can't see Jesus through me, then what good am I doing?

So, I'm remembering the words of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." Please pray for me that I could shine the light of Jesus without my candle being blown out by the darkness around me.