Not Learning or Not Listening?

It's been awhile since I've posted. Whenever I realize I've gone long periods of time without posting, I always use the excuse that "God hasn't given me anything to write about" or "I haven't learned anything worth posting."

But today, God reminded me that He is always teaching me, guiding me, leading me. It's my job to listen and learn from things and circumstances around me. That means I've really been learning a lot and I've really had a lot worth writing about. But I missed it. I'm the only one to blame. I can't blame God for my ignorance. I can only blame myself.

So here is a list of some of the things I've learned but didn't realize I had and some things I should have written about but didn't think they were worthwhile enough. I need to remember that I don't write these blog posts to entertain, inform or teach anyone. I write them so I have something to look back on in the future and see what God taught me.

1. No matter how many things go wrong (or not the way I want them to), being upset or allowing that worry to fester won't help at all.
2. No matter how I feel on the inside getting up, dressing up and showing up is always the best option. It would be so easy to let pain get me down. But that just won't work. I'm better than that.

Denver (2.5yrs), Clara (2 months), Jonny (4yrs)
Our precious grandchildren

3. No matter how tired I may be or how rough my day may have been, the laughter and smile of a baby or child is enough to give me a boost...especially when it's my grandchild. (and I've had the pleasure of hearing all three of my grandchildren laugh and see them smile since my last post).
4. Getting dozens of hugs from students every morning is the best way to start a day!
5. Watching my children interact with their children is an incredible experience.

Denver, who may be praying it'll be time to play soon. 

Silly smiles with Jonny

6. It may have been 22 years since I've had a baby staying in my house for long periods of time. But I can still prepare a bottle, change a diaper, feed and burp a baby and get them back to sleep...all in the dark!
7. I love the sound of crunching leaves just as much as I always have.
8. The older I get, the less tolerant I am of cold weather. It's been in the 40s and I'm wearing layers. Weird!
9. I love creating assignments for students. It's nice to be able to use things I learned in college without having all the grading and parent-teacher conferences to worry about.
10. Nothing beats a quiet night at home with my husband.

May I pay more attention to what God is teaching me and showing me.

Brenda ♥

Abiding

   It's been awhile since I've posted anything. It's not that I haven't learned anything. It's that I'm stubborn and feel like the things I learn are maybe more just for me and no one else needs to know about them. Maybe other people don't think like me. Maybe other people have it all together more than I do. But God has been doing some big things in my faith walk lately...more specifically, in the past several days.

 
The past few days, I've felt like everyone or everything I prayed for got worse rather than better. I prayed for relationships of people around me but they seemed to disintegrate more, I prayed for healing for my daughter and she ended up in the hospital, I prayed for financial provision for people in need and they seemed to have even less, I prayed for more rest and went sleepless nights, I prayed for health for my husband and he developed one of the worst head colds he's had in a long time...I found myself certain that God didn't exist.

   Or did I even believe He actually existed? For a short time, I can honestly tell you I thought everything I had ever believed about God was a big lie. I verbally asked God why He created me just to sit and laugh at my frustration. (Yes, I thought God was a lie but I still found myself praying. I'm not saying I was at all rational in those moments!) I asked God to show me if He was actually there.

   And then God showed up! You see, all those lies that filled my head were from satan. He hates God's children He hates people who have faith. He hates people who pray. Why is it so easy to believe the lies of satan yet so hard to believe the truths of God? (If I'm the only one that feels that way, you can stop reading. You apparently have it all together.)

   Still here? Good! Let's continue. I continued to find myself praying, not fully convinced God exists, still feeling like He had no clue I was even there. But there was that part of me that knew that was my only hope. I remember a former pastor who used to say, "I'd rather live my life believing that there is a God and find out I was wrong than live my life believing there is no God and finding out there is!"

   So I prayed. I prayed for healing of relationships, I prayed for healing for my daughter, I prayed for financial provision, I prayed for rest, I prayed for my husband to be healthy. Relationships started to improve, my daughter got better and I was able to bring her home from the hospital, finances have been improving for many, I've gotten some rest (although not much because I had a newborn here for a few days) and while my husband hasn't gotten better, he doesn't seem to be getting worse.

   This morning, I let satan try to convince me to stay home from church. After all, I was very tired. Staying home one Sunday wouldn't be bad. I was ready to throw in the towel and stay home. But my daughter encouraged me to go. So, reluctantly I got my granddaughter and I dressed for church (matching outfits, no less!) and went to church.

   A friend needed encouragement that I was able to give. She may not have gotten that if I'd have stayed home. I heard a great sermon on how to pray for others. I would have missed it if I was in my recliner. And I wept as we sang my heart's cry. I'm talking full-blown almost sobbing at my seat, hand raised, heart crying out to Jesus.

Abide with me, abide with me

Don't let me fall, and don't let go

Walk with me, and never leave

Ever close, God, abide with me!

The dictionary says that "abide" means:

1.

to remain; continue; stay:

2.

to have one's abode; dwell; reside:

3.

to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.; last.

My heart literally cried out to Jesus that he would remain, stat, reside, and continue in relationship with me. WOW! That's pretty intense, pretty powerful. At that moment, I truly realized that God will NEVER let me go. When God seems far away, He isn't the one that moved. May I never move away from Christ again!

❤ Brenda

Abide with Me by Matt Maher 

Stronger Together

You wouldn't think that looking at a tree would give you a story - a life lesson really. However, as we were walking through the woods Sunday, that very thing happened. We've seen it several times when we've walked there. But this time God really got me thinking.

 

Notice how the smaller branch is wrapped around the larger tree trunk. There are several trees that way. Some are wrapped for several feet of the tree. It's very intriguing. It's almost as if the smaller tree saw the bigger tree struggling to stand and reached out to hold it up. Or perhaps the smaller tree was struggling to take root and the larger tree urged its smaller friend to hang on tight for support. 

Now, I am well aware of the fact that trees don't talk. At least we can't hear them. But they're living creations. So perhaps in some way they do. 

Nonetheless, we humans are able to communicate. How often have you seen someone struggling and reached out to offer support? How many times have you held someone up in prayers, been a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, given someone a ride, a place to sleep for the night, shelter from a storm? The list goes on. On the other end, how many times has someone seen you struggling and reached out to support you? When I stop to think of the times people have helped us through our struggles, how dare I not offer to help someone else? I have two shoulders, two ears, a reliable car and I have a Friend Who hears my prayers.  Reach out to someone...and don't be afraid to let someone else help you when you need it. 

But encourage one another daily as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hindered by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

❤Brenda