God Knows

**I'm writing this more so that I can look back and remember...because sometimes even the hardest moments are worth remembering.**

   Monday, April 2, 2018 started just like any other Monday. I was on Spring Break, although I was going to spend that one day working at the pawn shop. Drew was going to work that day and then be on vacation so we could spend the rest of the week together. Never in our wildest dreams could we have imagined what that evening and the coming days would bring. But God knew.
 
   Around 10:00, Drew sent me a text saying that he was struggling to get warm. He said he was shivering uncontrollably, sitting with his legs wrapped around a space heater, his coat and hood on. That's highly unusual for my husband. I assumed he was coming down with a 24 hour stomach bug. But God knew.

   About 1:00, I got a text from Drew telling me he was going to be going home as soon as his assistant manager could get there. That's extremely unusual for him. He never willingly takes off work just because he doesn't feel good. I still thought it was a stomach bug and thought he would sleep it off and we have a great week together. But God knew.

   He came home and slept while I continued through my work day. I was very excited to get home, get him feeling better and have fun together the rest of the week. We were going to go to the movies, get some yard work done, sleep in every day and stay up late every night. We had our week all planned. But God knew.

   When I came home from work, he was laying in bed. His cheeks were flushed and he was sweating. I asked how he was feeling. He said it was really hot in the house. I checked the thermostat and it was right where it normally is. I kissed his forehead and immediately knew he was running a fever. I took his temperature and it was 101.8. He tried getting up out of bed and could hardly walk. He said his leg was hurting. I took one look and could see why. It was bright red and quite swollen. I tried to talk him into a trip to the ER but he wouldn't go. (You know the old saying, "You can always tell a German but you can't tell him much.") He said he'd let me take him in the morning if it wasn't better but he was sure it would be. But God knew.

   Early Tuesday morning, he woke up and was nearly unable to walk. His leg was very swollen, incredibly sore and extremely red. He said he was ready for a trip to the ER. It took us awhile but we got ourselves dressed and ready to go. On our way out the door, he said we should take his phone charger "just in case" but was sure we'd just go to Memorial and be back in a few hours. But God knew.

God knew I'd sleep in a hospital chair for 10 nights (missing 3 tags)

   By the time we got to Memorial Hospital, there was no way Drew was going to walk into the ER. I went in and got a wheelchair to take him in. At this point, I really knew there was something significantly wrong. My sweet husband has always been good at smiling through the pain and making the most of everything. We thought we'd get it checked out, get some medication and be on our way. But God knew.

This was what it looked like in the ER

3 hours after arriving

   We didn't wait very long before being taken back to a room. Blood tests were ordered and we waited. After a short time, the doctor came in to say Drew had cellulitis and would be admitted for some IV antibiotics. We got settled into room 1128 around 2:00 and I left to come home for things for the night. We figured it would be IV antibiotics overnight and back home Wednesday morning. But God knew.

   When the nurse came in to give us some information, one thing she did was tell us what hospitalist was assigned to him. I was thrilled to find out it was going to be my best friend since childhood. We've known each other our entire lives and now she was going to be caring for the best man I could ever ask for. Knowing there are many hospitalists there, I was sure she wouldn't be his doctor. No one knew how much I hoped and prayed she would be. But God knew.

   Over the course of the next 10 days, we would meet some of the nicest nurses (and a couple crummy ones) and Patient Care Assistants we could have asked for. Of course, there were the midnight and 4:00am IV changes, the blood draws anytime between 2:00-4:00am, the weight and vitals checks at 5:00am and the constant noises that we're not used to hearing at home. The doctor came in every day and checked his leg. Her plan was to keep him on IV antibiotics until she saw some improvement and then switch him to oral antibiotics for 24 hours before sending him home. She was sure he would be discharged before she'd be off duty for a few days. We fully anticipated being home by Thursday or Friday at the very latest. But God knew.

Blister at 7:30PM

Blister at 8:00PM

   Wednesday evening we noticed what looked like a small blister, about the diameter of a dime that formed just below the knee. We let the nurse know and she contacted the doctor who ordered wound care for Thursday morning. Within 30 minutes, the blister had grown to the diameter of a quarter. Wound care came in on Thursday morning, drained the blister and put compression wraps on his leg.

   Friday we just relaxed for most of the day. Saturday I left to take my parents shopping. While I was gone, wound care came in to check Drew's leg. They scraped a lot of dead skin from the wound and redressed it. It was quite painful for Drew.

Post-scraping

   Sunday I went to church and live streamed the service for Drew. Even though he was in South Bend and I was in Elkhart, it was nice to know we were worshiping in the same service. "Spring break" came to an end and a new work week would begin the next morning.

   Each morning, I left the hospital bright and early to make the 30 minute drive to work. After the doctor came in, Drew would text me to let me know what she had to say. The first couple days it was pretty much the same news..."We have to stick with IV antibiotics. Keep it elevated." Wound care came in daily to change the bandages and check the wound. It was slowly improving but not quite as much as the doctor had hoped.

   Wednesday she said, "We'll see about starting oral antibiotics tomorrow." Thursday she decided to switch him from the IV to oral antibiotics. At this point, we decided we'd know he was coming home when they had him sign paperwork. But we were both so ready to be home. It was so hard to not get our hopes up.

His last nurse, Aaron and our favorite PCA, Maria

Discharge day

 Late Friday morning I got the news I'd been waiting for. Drew texted to tell me that the oral antibiotics were working well enough that he could go home! He would have to come back to the hospital every couple days for outpatient wound care. But that's certainly a small sacrifice to make to sleep in our own bed, relax in our living room and not have nurses coming in all hours of the night. So I happily went to the hospital, packed up nearly two weeks' worth of our personal belongings and we bid farewell to 11 South at Memorial Hospital. We made a stop to fill four new prescriptions, stopped for dinner and came home. Drew hadn't seen the inside of our home for nearly 11 days. He was beyond thrilled to be home and I was ecstatic to have him home! We know we still have a long road ahead of us. But we'll get through this together just like we've gotten through every hurdle we've faced. After all, in our wedding vows, we said "for better or worse, in sickness and in health..."

Thankful for well-wishes from many. 

Truck and flowers from Drew's sister

Balloons from Jon and his girlfriend

The visitor that got the biggest smile

   Over the course of those 11 days, we were so thankful for calls, texts, Facebook messages, cards and visits from may friends and family. He received a large plant from WWJP and a cute little truck with flowers from his sister, cards from Aunt Eleanor, Aunt Darlene and Uncle John, Aunt Rita and our friends at Electric Brew. He had visits from Pastor Mike, our kids and granddaughter, my parents, his mom and nephew, his sister, our friends Howie, Hubie and Peggy, Charles, Scott and Kerri, Byron, Eric and Serena, and YuYu. Our church family has held us up in prayer every step of the way. We're thankful to be part of such a great family of fellow believers. 

Plant from WWJP

    It's been a long couple weeks and I know the adventure isn't over. But we know that, as Hubie said, "God will pull you through if you can stand the pull." We know God had a purpose for allowing this to happen. We also know He had a reason to keep him in the hospital for so long. 

   *If you've read to the end, congratulations! I only wrote it so that I could look back in the future and be reminded that God knows long before we do. If we are faithful to Him, He will be faithful to us. May He always find me faithful. ❤Brenda (and Drew, too!) 💑

        

Persevering through pain

.

Loved walking "around the block" with my sweetie

 

 

 

We almost had an escapee. 

2016 A Year in Review

December 30, 2016 - Did I seriously just type that date? Where in the world has 2016 gone? My Grandma used to say that time goes so much faster as you get older. I though she was crazy. Turns out she was right - again! That woman always knew what she was talking about!

What a year it's been! I'm going to try to recap. Ya know, people send out those family letters in their Christmas cards. While I read every single one of them we receive, I've never been much for typing one myself. So, I figured I'd give it a shot this year. I feel like I have so much to update and yet I don't know that there's really that much. But it sure feels like it's been a whirlwind year. 

We welcomed in 2016 as official empty-nesters. We had to learn how to just be us. For the first time in almost 23 years, we were "just us" in the house on our own. The quiet stillness took some getting used to. But now we love our quiet nights! It's been nice to reconnect and focus on us and our relationship. 

January and February moved right along with the normal winter blahs. We were ready to get out into the garden and spend time on our porch. But before that, our lives we changed in a moment. On March 17 in the wee hours of morning, Drew woke up throwing up large amount of blood. I rushed him to Memorial Hospital where we spent the next four days. After lots of blood tests and an endoscopy, it was discovered that he had "more ulcers than I can count" (to quote Dr. Oh) as well as a hiatal hernia. He went into the hospital not taking any prescription medications but would leave with two that he will take for the rest of his life. Our diet also had to completely be changed. That's not really a bad thing but it took some getting used to. We're a beef-eating family. Now we're limited to twice a month. Otherwise, it's turkey, chicken and lean pork. Nothing fried or spicy. Lots of vegetables. Perhaps the biggest thing was cutting out our Diet Coke. We were huge Diet Coke drinkers! Neither of us have had one since March. In fact, a few days after his hospital stay, we tried one. It tasted horrible! We haven't had a sip since. Drew had to take it easy for awhile until he regained his strength. But he's been so much more active with our new lifestyle. This hospital stay also brought us to a fantastic family physician. She's a wonderful Christian woman who is very caring and compassionate. While she points out things in our lives that need to be changed for our health, it never feels like she's condemning us for past mistakes. We're thankful for Dr. Frentz. 

June 8 we took our first trip to Saint Joseph, Michigan and immediately fell in love with this quaint little beach town! The lake is stunning, the beach is beautiful, the shops in town are tremendous, and we love the slower pace of life there. This was our first trip of many! I'm now Facebook friends with people we met over the summer, we've traveled up for the Saturday Farmer's Market, gone up to have dinner and watch the sunset and even made a rush trip, getting into town 15 minutes before the sunset and then got ice cream before coming back home. We spent more time on the road than we spent in town but it was so worth it! I don't know why we never went there before. I feel like so many years were wasted by not going. We'll definitely be back! After all, we have friends there now. 

This fall, we built a video shelf in Sarah's old room. It is floor to ceiling and wall to wall on one whole side. Yes, we have that many movies! No, we're not ashamed to admit that! We enjoy watching movies together. And we're pretty darned proud of our shelf!It turned out great and we had fun working together to build it. 

That project just wasn't enough for us. We decided to rearrange our living room. Living in a little 3-bedroom house that's less that 1,000 square feet with four people, it was always pretty cramped. Now that we have two extra rooms, we're able to put our office (which used to be in part of the living room) in Sarah's old room with the video shelf. Jon's old room will eventually be a guest room for when Drew's parents come to visit. So, we moved everything around and gave ourselves an amazing space to relax in. Now we hardly ever want to go anywhere!

Thanksgiving weekend, God told us it was time to go back "home" to our old church. So that Sunday morning, we found ourselves sitting at Bethany Missionary Church and feeling like we had never left. We were welcomed back with open arms and have really felt God moving in our hearts and lives in ways we haven't for quite some time. We're thankful for a loving church family who really seeks to lift others up. 

On the job front, Drew celebrated his one year anniversary as General Manager of Worldwide Jewelry and Pawn in Elkhart. It keep him very busy and he deals with quite a bit of stress. But he loves what he does. I'm proud to say he's able to help so many people through his job. He has a great team of employees working for him. 

In January, I was transferred from the learning lab where I had been working in to the computer lab as the computer teacher. I've had the opportunity to use many of my teaching skills in this position. I love going to work every day and being able to touch 600+ students every week! I not only get to teach students various computer skills (typing, research, etc) but get to enjoy watching them get their "aha" moments and have fun learning! I work with great teachers who are willing to entrust research projects and things to me. It's been a great transition!

Grandkids are growing like weeds! We've been able to make many memories with them! It's still odd to not have kids coming home at night, cooking for two, and not having to tell teenagers to quiet down so we can sleep. But we're blessed with each other and are thankful that God has given us another year to learn and grow closer to Him and to each other. 

May 2017 be another year full of blessings. Wishing you and yours a blessed New Year!

Around the World in 80 Hours

   OK, so we didn't travel around the world. But it sure felt like a whirlwind trip somewhere...and I did a lot of traveling! I've posted statuses along the way but feel the need to put everything together and also thank a couple groups of people.

   At about 2:30 in the morning on Thursday (St. Patrick's Day), Drew (my husband) began throwing up blood. After the first time, he tried to come wake me up to take him to the hospital. But he couldn't even get out of the bathroom before having another episode. Once he was able to come get me (why did God pick that moment to make me sleep soundly enough that I didn't even hear him get up. That's unusual), we quickly put on some clothes, grabbed a trash can and headed out. He had one more episode before we got out the door. Being so early in the morning, there was very little traffic and we got almost all green lights the whole way. He had one more episode in the parking garage - thank goodness for the trash can!)

   There was one person checking in with their child when we walked into the Emergency Room at Memorial Hospital. They got us checked in quickly and in just a few minutes we were in a room. Jake was our nurse and he was hilarious!! He picked on us, we picked back. Drew (who was admittedly quite scared) was trying to hide his fear through humor, which is so typical of my husband. He was joking around with Jake and within the first two minutes we were with him, Jake proclaimed, "I'm so over you!" followed by a chuckle. We joked back and forth and Jake did an initial assessment and took vitals.

Waiting in the ER

   Dr. Monahan came in and asked Drew some questions, looked at some things, joked with us a bit (that's typical Dr. Monahan. Yes, having had our kids - son more than anything - and ourselves in the ER multiple times over the years, we have ER doctors and nurses that we know well and even triage and treatment rooms we like more than others.) He had an IV started to run some fluids. After a brief time, he left. A lab tech came and drew blood, Jake hooked Drew up to monitors to check his blood pressure, heart rate and breathing rate. I had texted our associate pastor and he quickly made his way to the hospital to visit and pray with us.

   Later, Dr. Thompson came in. She's a hospitalist, which means she's a doctor who can see any patient in any part of the hospital. She just so happens to work with my best childhood friend. She said she was assuming Drew had bleeding ulcers and wanted to get a GI scope done to verify that. She left the room to get that scheduled. We waited a bit and then another nurse came in. His name was Dominick (I'm not sure if that's how he spells his name but I know that's his name). He was maybe 5' 2" tall. A tiny Italian man. He's worked at the ER for over 30 years. The doctor who delivered me and was my doctor my entire life got him into nursing and he worked with my Aunt Glida who was the nurse in charge of Memorial's ER for many years. He said they were going to be admitting Drew.

   Heather came in to prepare Drew for transport to the 11th floor of the hospital. There we were met by Chris (the day shift nurse) and Carolyn (the patient care assistant) who would be taking care of Drew. They were tremendous! They also joked around and really made us feel very comfortable. We got Drew all settled in, kind of thinking they would do the scope and send us home but were just keeping us from having to sit in the ER room until they could get him in. However, we figured it would be a long day so I left to come home and shower, change clothes and grab Drew's laptop and our chargers.

   After I got back, our pastor came to visit and pray with us. It was unexpected but certainly much appreciated. We tried to settle in and get comfortable for much of the day. Mid afternoon, Dr. Oh came in to introduce himself and the GI specialist who would be doing the scope. However, he had a full schedule on Thursday so would have to squeeze Drew in on Friday. Yep, we were spending the night. Sarah and Joe (our daughter and son-in-law) and Howard, a friend of my brother's who works in the cafeteria at Memorial stopped by to visit. Drew tried to get as comfortable as possible. (Of course, he was kept on a clear liquid diet which meant only broth and Jello until midnight and then nothing until after the scope. So that made him uncomfortable anyway). I wanted to stay at the hospital all night but I had signed up to bring milk and juice for our staff breakfast at school Friday morning. So, I left the hospital reluctantly, stopped at the store then came home for the night. As soon as I walked in the door, I wished I was back at the hospital. I knew he was in the very capable hands of his nurse, Sarah and patient care assistant, April. But that didn't make it any easier. Drew and I messaged each other for awhile before we tried to get some sleep. We were both pretty unsuccessful - he because they kept coming in to take blood or check vitals. He saw MedFlight come in, heard a code blue call for another floor and listened to the lady down the hall screaming all night. Me because I can't sleep well without my husband laying next to me. I never have been and most likely never will be. The absence of his breathing - and snoring - was so noticeable, the silence was deafening. As soon as I knew I'd be able to drop off the milk and juice, I made my way to school, made my delivery and made a beeline to the hospital.

   We found out the GI scope would be done at 11:30. We held hands and watched TV for the morning and waited to be taken down to "outpatient" surgery. Rhonda, the charge nurse during Friday's day shift came in and started Drew's IV in a much better spot. ER had put it right at the hinge of his elbow which made it hard to take a drink, blow his nose, or even scratch his head. Rhonda put it in the middle of his forearm which was so much nicer for him. A little after 11:00, Scott came and moved Drew to a surgical bed. A nursing student from Ivy Tech followed along as we went down to the basement of the hospital where outpatient surgeries are done. We waited while they finished prepping the room chatting with each other and the nursing student. Drew and I prayed together and gave each other a kiss. Dr. Oh was ready to get started, Stephanie, Dr. Oh's nurse, took Drew in and Scott showed me to a very nice waiting room. I sat and did my Bible reading, prayed and tried to relax. Before I knew it, Scott came to tell me they were done. He walked me back to the room where Dr. Oh showed me the pictured from the scan, explained his findings and also what he was able to do. Diagnosis was "multiple ulcers in the esophagus and stomach as well as a hiatal hernia." Dr. Oh said he cauterized the veins to stop the bleeding and said they would be closely monitoring Drew. We were taken back up to our room - me relieved it was done, Drew rather groggy from the sedation. We rested together and I got to show the scope pictures off to Chris and Tammy (the PCA for day shift Friday) who were with us all day Friday. Drew got put back on a clear liquid diet for the rest of the day. More broth and Jello. Yuck A friend of mine who grew up two doors down from me came with her daughter to visit and bring me dinner. I appreciated that so much! Food at the hospital gets very expensive! Dr. Waldrop came in to check on Drew. She talked about the plan of action for the ulcers and also discussed her concern with Drew's high blood pressure. She also works with my childhood best friend, so that was cool!

One of the wackiest camping trips ever

   I spent the night Friday night. Jenna was the nurse and April (a different one) was the PCA. They were amazing and so compassionate! While we didn't get to sleeping the same bed, I at least got to sleep in a reclining chair right next to Drew and we could hold hands. But to be honest, I spent more time just smiling as I listened to him snore off and on during the night. We still didn't get much sleep but did a little better being together.

   Saturday morning, I made a quick run to Walmart to get a few things. Soon after I got back, our friend Jim from church stopped in for a short visit. Just a short time ago, I was visiting him in the ICU at the same hospital. It was such a blessing to have him take a few minutes to stop in. YuYu, the daughter of Drew's assistant manager, works in the cafeteria at the hospital. She stopped up between her split shift to see how he was doing. Later, Drew's Dad, Mom, sister-in-law and nephew came to visit. They spent quite a chunk of time with us, which was wonderful. While they were there, we had a completely unexpected visitor. Our friend, Seth stopped by. He's the baseball coach at Bethel and his wife and I had a class together when we were in school. He's had some major health issues in the past and we've been prayer warriors for him. He said it was time he could come be a prayer warrior for us. He talked for quite a long time and prayed with us before he left. I'm sure Bobbie and Robin, our nurse and PCA during the day thought room 1139 had become Grand Central Station!

We saw some beautiful sunsets!

   We got some good news while Drew's parents were here: He could eat solid foods once again!! Bobbie brought him a menu and he picked food to make up his first "real" food since dinner Wednesday night! Sarah came to visit for awhile and so did my brother. He even brought a couple bags of Lehman's mints and a Guidepost magazine. He visited for quite a long time. Jodi and April were our overnight nurse and PCA. We hadn't met Jodi before. April had been there Thursday night. So it was fun to have her back. And Jodi was amazing!! We were having a very rough night sleeping. Drew was hurting from laying on his back so much but it was hard to lay on his side because of the IV tubes. In the middle of the night, Jodi and April located a special air mattress and pump to put on his bed, got that all set up, put new sheets on his bed and got us settled back in. We slept the best during those few hours than we had the whole time since we got there. Apparently I sleep better when he's sleeping better because my "bed" was no more comfortable than it had been!

   Sunday morning, Dr. Oh came in and said hemoglobin counts had stayed level so he didn't see any reason Drew couldn't go home!! He told us that he would need to do another scope in a month and discussed some expectations with us. Dr. Waldrop came in later to officially discharge Drew, give us his prescriptions, talk about changes that needed to be made as well as follow-up appointments that would be coming up. Drew got dressed, I packed things up and at about 11:00, we were headed down the elevator and towards the exit! After 80 hours in the hospital, we were headed home!!

My little pole dancer

   It was a whirlwind few days but we were blessed with so many great people. From Efrim, Pastor Randy, Joe, Sarah, Howard, Tracy and her daughter Sarah, Dad, Mom, Kathy, Kyle, Seth, YuYu, and Bob who visited, our son Jon, Drew's mom and youngest sister who called to check on him (Jon and Bekah took time to FaceTime each night so Jonny could say, "Feel better, Gwampa!") to Drs. Monahan, Thompson, Oh, and Waldrop, Jake, Dominick, Chris, Carolyn, Heather, Sarah, April #1, April #2, Rhonda, Tammy, Stephanie, Scott, Jenna, Jodi, Bobbie, Robin, Jill who cleaned the room each morning, the countless lab techs who drew blood, food service workers who delivered Drew's meals, and people at South Bend Chocolate Cafe who allowed me to refull my coffee cup repeatedly, to those of you who faithfully prayed for us, all we can say is...THANK YOU!!!

Our parting words to the most amazing team!

   We have a long road ahead, but we know we'll make it. We've been through lots of things together over the past 24 years, some good and some bad. But the good thing is, we've done it together. Each challenge has been conquered together. Each victory has been celebrated together. This challenge is no different. We'll win this victory together!