My Funny Valentine

I figured with Valentine's Day around the corner, I would dedicate this post to my own Valentine. Please note: We don't really do anything to celebrate February 14. It's just another day on the calendar really. That doesn't mean we're not romantic people. It just means we don't need a day on the calendar to tell us to treat each other special. We do things for each other all the time. However, February 14 does hold a special significance for us.

All because 2 people fell in love

February 14, 1992, Drew and I were on our way to St. Francis for Jester's (the drama group made up of young people with special needs that we helped with). We stopped at a gas station on our way across town. Drew pumped the gas, went in to pay and came out with a beautiful red rose. It was that night that he asked me to marry him. Yes, 23 years ago Saturday, we were spending the evening with a whole bunch of amazing kids! No, wait...that's not the significant part. The significant part is that Drew asked me to marry him that night! My life was forever changed.

A couple summers...and pounds ago

While we've had our share of ups and downs over the past 23 years, I couldn't imagine anyone else I'd rather spend this life with. We have shared many laughs, tears, and frustrations. We've taken care of each other through sicknesses, supported each other through schooling and job changes. We've been on a weight loss journey together. We've raised 2 kids together and now we're enjoying being grandparents together. We share household chores, we pray together, we help each other, we encourage each other and -most importantly- we love each other.

Recreating our first kiss

New Year's Day 2015

So, I say, "Happy Valentine's Day to the most amazing man in the world. 23 years ago this weekend, I said, 'Yes!'. If you asked me again today, the answer would be exactly the same. Thanks for loving me, accepting me, valuing me, respecting me, helping me, encouraging me, forgiving me, being patient with me, making me laugh, making me smile, making me believe in myself again. Thank you for choosing to always and forever be                       my valentine!

Silence Isn't Always Golden

So, this blog was God's idea. He's supposed to tell me what to write each week. I've been asking Him all day and evening to tell me what I'm supposed to write. Nothing is coming. Part of me thinks God is done with the blog. But then He keeps saying, "Write." I ask Him what to write and He just says, "Write." I have nothing deeply profound to say. I feel like Moses. I'm not an eloquent speaker. I try to tell God He should ask someone else to blog every week. But here I am. I'll write.

I have lots of blogs I follow. Most of them are teacher blogs. That only makes sense, right? I have a few Bible study blogs, homeschool blogs, recipe blogs, etc. I follow blogs of friends who are far away. I spend time every day sifting through Facebook notifications, blog posts, Tweets, Pinterest pins and e-mails. A former professor writes a blog every week day. He offers thoughts on the Bible in 300 words 5 days a week. I'm always interested in his perspective. Some days are more profound than others. Today was one of those days.

He's spent the past 4 days sharing a bit from a Bible study on 2 Timothy. Today, he challenged me (and every other reader) to do something extraordinary...he challenged us to read 2 Timothy - OUT LOUD!! The whole book. Beginning to end. OUT LOUD!! Guess what? I did it! I came home from work, did my chores, and I read 2 Timothy out loud. It was just me at home (had anyone else been home they made have ordered me a little white coat that helps me hug myself). I must say it was a pretty incredible way to read scripture. Have you ever felt like you were in the skin of one of the Bible's main characters? I did this afternoon. Paul wrote this letter to Timothy. Honestly, it never occurred to me that this letter may be much like we might receive from a missionary. He gave Timothy ministry updates, made him aware of upcoming struggles or obstacles to the ministry and ended by asking Timothy to bring some supplies when he comes. I've never read it that way before.

So, may I offer you a challenge? Read one of Paul's letters out loud. Read any part of the Bible out loud. Today, my trip through the Bible took me through Exodus. Let me say that I find many of the books of the Old Testament to be boring. I'm ashamed to admit that to you. But those rules and regulations they had back then for offerings and how they had to adorn themselves, etc just gets dull. Sometimes I feel like I'm plodding through. Today, I applied Jon's challenge to my daily reading as well. Exodus is a very powerful book. So friends, I ask you to read from the Bible out loud. I'm not asking you to get a microphone and stand on a street corner. I'm not saying I want you to shout it out while sitting in Starbucks. In the quietness of your bedroom or living room, in your car, wherever you are reading the Bible...read some OUT LOUD! It's deeply refreshing!

Watch Yo' Mouth!

For the second year in a row, I'm reading through the entire Bible in 365 days. I'm happy to be on this journey once again. However, this year I'm doing it just a bit differently. Each day before I begin my reading I ask God to show me what He wants me to learn, chew on, discover, etc. On Thursdays, I also pray that God would show me what He wants me to blog about since He's the one who told me I had to do this anyway. He always tells me what He wants in that week's blog post. Today, God showed me a verse He wanted me to address.

I believe many of us have become complacent and think that the words that come out of our mouth isn't important. I will admit that I sometimes become frustrated or angry and say things I shouldn't. I've been working very hard on that. I almost have it conquered. So, what I'm about to say isn't meant to point a finger at anyone because when I point a finger at you, I'm pointing 4 more back at me. There have been many times that I've asked God to put His arm around me shoulder and hand over my mouth.

I remember many things from my days as a summer church camp director. The one thing I remember the most is a video of Florence Littauer giving a mini-sermon on Ephesians 4:29. I love The Message version of this verse that I memorized in the New International Version. The Message says, "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift." Florence talks about our words being like silver boxes neatly tied with a bow that we give to everyone we speak to. We would show this video to our staff of counselors and tell them to think of everything they said to their campers during the next week and make sure they were giving silver boxes rather than paper bags.

Today, God gave me an even more specific verse to address. Exodus 20:7 (again in The Message) says, "No using the name of God, your God, in curses or silly banter; God won't put up with the irreverent use of his name." Translation: Quit saying you're a Christian and then saying, "Oh my God!" all the time. You're breaking one of the 10 Commandments. These weren't written in sand to be erased and forgotten. They were carved in stone to be remembered from generation to generation. Why have so many of us forgotten??

From this day forward, I will NOT be complacent about this. I don't care how hard I stub my toe or how hard I hit the corner of the door when I turn too quickly. I will not say things I shouldn't! No matter how angry I get at the slow driver in front of me or the long lines at Walmart. I won't say nasty words. Will you join me in this commitment to uphold each and every Commandment God gave Moses on top of the mountain or will you continue to let yourself believe that they no longer apply because they're so old? The choice is yours. Your future depends on your decision.

Gnomeo, Gnomeo...

Today after family lunch, hubby and I needed to make a quick run to Dollar General to get something. In the front of the store, there was a cart of all the leftover Christmas stuff. It was all being cleared out for $.25!!! Of course, that meant I HAD to stop and look through it. There were lots of gift bags, bows and packages of Christmas cards. In the cart were also a gnome bottle topper and a gnome ornament. My incredible husband willingly purchased both of them for me. I've developed a love,,,perhaps and obsession...with gnomes lately. I have several of them in my garden (and hope to add more). I greatly enjoy them. They make me smile when I see them. I came home and proudly displayed my newest gnome on my tree (yes, it's still up. Don't judge. I've started taking decorations down a little at a time but the tree stands proudly and offers much happiness as the lights glow in the corner.) The gnome bottle topper is perched atop a bottle in the kitchen.

A Friend Is...

The dictionary tells us that a friend is:
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Many of us have Facebook friends, work friends, church friends, neighborhood friends. How
many of those are true friends? I have 880 Facebook friends - some from high school (or before), some from college, some from work (or past jobs), some from church, a couple from the neighborhood and many family members.

However, when I think of people that I would turn to in a time of need, those first people I would contact with big news, the ones who would do my laundry or other household chores if something happened to me (while my husband was attending to my every need, of course), how many of those 880 people fit into that category?

In Proverbs 17:17, I see that "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." That makes me wonder how loosely we use the term "friend." Stop and think about who will actually be there for you in your time of need, when you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Who will celebrate a new job with you? Or a new baby? Or a marriage? Will every one of those people on your Facebook friends list be there? I can almost assure you the answer is no.

While I realize that many of the people on my friends list may post on my wall and tell me they're praying for me or they're thinking about me or offer congratulations or whatever the situation warrants. However, if I were to make a list of the people who would drop what they're doing and spend hours on the phone with me or drive hours to get to where I'm at, that list would dwindle. In fact, that list would include 4 or 5 that I know for sure. Don't get my wrong. I'm thankful for each and every person I'm connected to on Facebook. I'm beyond blessed by those couple of friends who have been part of my life for decades. You know, those kind of friends who you don't have to talk to or see every day to know they care, yet you can pick right up where you left off and laugh or talk for hours? I have a couple of them. I also am blessed with a couple great friends who I added to my life about 7 years ago. 2 ladies who are always there to encourage me and pray for me. Do you have friends like that?

Sometimes people may think I'm stand-offish. I'm not. I'm introverted. I'm afraid of sounding stupid. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. I'm afraid of opening myself up to people. So I stay quiet. Of course, those who truly know me would say I'm not that quiet. haha But, we won't ask them!

I know this is not an eloquent blog post. I already told you I'm not a writer. Maybe I'm the only one who will read this anyway. Maybe I'm the only one who reads 99.9% of what I write. That's ok. I can only do what God told me to do. He told me to blog every Thursday. He didn't tell me anyone would read it. I'm ok with that. Today, I waited and waited for Him to tell me what to write about. He told me (finally!) that I was supposed to write about friendship. Thank you to those few of you who are my closest friends. You know exactly who you are. To the rest of you (those Facebook friends I went to school with, work with, attend church with) know that I am here to pray for you. I may not share the details of my life with you. But I don't share those details with everyone. Don't take offense to that. To my family (who make up the rest of my Facebook friends list and many beyond that) you have no idea what you mean to me! I love each and every one of you. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for encouraging me and sharing this journey of life with me.

Next week, I hope God gives me a more eloquent post...or tells me this one was so horrible I don't have to blog anymore. haha

Checking In and Sharing a Concern

It's me again! You might remember that last week I shared with you the goals I've set for myself for 2015:

1. Write in my journal every day. Try to focus on something God is teaching me

or a way I saw Him at work during the day.

2. Blog every Thursday.

3. Finish reading "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George.

4. Read through the Bible...again.

5. Find a classroom of my own.

6. Be the wife my husband deserves.

I'm happy to report that I've kept up with #1 every day. I'm here for week two of #2. I'm still working my way through #3 and I'm keeping up with #4. The last two are a little tricky. #5 isn't completely dependent on me. #6 may not ever be fully possible no matter how hard I try. My husband is a rock. He deserves the greatest woman on earth. Yet he settled for me. So, I'll strive to be the best God made me to be and hope that's enough.

Now, on to a concern that God laid on my heart last week. On Friday, school was closed due to bitter cold and bad road conditions. So here I was enjoying a snow day at home. I was cleaning the house so I didn't have to cram it in on Saturday before my grandson came for the day. As I was vacuuming, I heard a voice say, "Why do some churches make new families feel so welcome but then start ignoring them if they can't give enough?" It was so audible I almost thought someone was in my house. But it got me to thinking.

First, let me say that I'm not including every single church in this. I'm not saying it's your church or my church. God didn't make specific to me what churches He's concerned about. He simply asked me why. He asked me to delve into this question and find some answers. Of course, I certainly realize He already knows the answer to this question. Why He wants me to discover it is beyond me. But far be it to argue with Him! I've done that before. It landed me in college at the age of 35!

Here are the facts I have so far (I'm not done searching for this answer. God has been telling me to write a blog about it since Friday and I decided to wait until my regular weekly blog. After all, I'm probably the only one who reads this anyway. So, why rush?)
1. I have heard from people who have had to stop attending church due to health reasons. The concern in this - no one from the church seems to think about contacting them to see if they're ok or if there's anything the church can do. No calls, no cards, no visits. Why?? These are people who have attended their respective churches for decades. There's no reason for people to be forgotten.
2. I know there are people who felt like they were joining in a family reunion when they walked into a new church for the first time. However, when they weren't able to give much financially to the church, weren't able or interested in helping with children's ministries or had no desire or ability to help with cleaning or repairs around the church, they became almost invisible to anyone in the church.
3. Jesus was good at welcoming people who came to Him for the first time. But He also never ignored those closest to Him.
4. I struggle with anxiety and panic disorders and also an inferiority complex. I have a problem reaching out to people. I know I need to work on that. While I can't change the anxiety and panic disorders, I can work on feeling less inferior. I can learn to believe that what I have to say is worthwhile.

So, these are some things I'll be chewing on for awhile. I'm waiting for God to tell me why He wants me to find the answer to this question. However, I'll simply search for the answer even if I never know why. Be patient with me.

Blessings,
Brenda

Blank Pages

What is the first thing you do when you get a new notebook or journal?

If you're like me, you flip through the pages, imagining all the things

you're going to write on its pages. I like notebooks and journals. I collect

them like some people collect stamps or plates. I have many pages to fill 

with thoughts, things I've learned, things I want to remember, etc. 

A week ago today, we were each given a brand new journal. It's called a year.

God writes on the pages of our journal every day. The choices we make are

written on the pages of our life. What choices are going to be written in your

journal this year? No matter what things were written in your journal in the past,

this journal is brand new. It's a whole new chapter. You can make it the best

chapter yet. 

Many people make resolutions for the new year. I don't make resolutions.

I set goals for myself. For some reason, I tend to do better with the word

"goals" than with "resolutions." I made a few goals this year.

1. Write in my journal every day. Try to focus on something God is teaching me

or a way I saw Him at work during the day.

2. Blog every Thursday.

3. Finish reading "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George.

4. Read through the Bible...again.

5. Find a classroom of my own.

6. Be the wife my husband deserves.

So far, I'm keeping up with #1. I haven't missed a day yet. I'm also keeping up with #4. You're reading the first edition of #2. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up. I don't have confidence in my own thoughts and writing. When God told me to set goal #2, I argued about it because I don't think anyone will find value in anything I write. So, perhaps I'm only writing this for myself. #3 shouldn't be a problem. I'm halfway done. #5 I'm hoping God has in store for me. #6 I don't know if that's even possible. But I'm sure going to try. 

So, what's going to be on the pages of your journal. Make the most of every day. Listen for God's voice. Be kind to everyone you meet. Remember, everyone has their own struggles that we don't know about.

See you next Thursday!

Brenda